The wife even offered to be at the wake for sometime before taking the son to the doctor but her husband was still upset
When a loved one passes away, it's natural to want your near and dear ones to be around. Be it for comfort or to have a shoulder to cry on, the feeling of being united in grief is something that gives people the strength to move on. But what if those you expect to be there for you are occupied with something that's equally, if not more, pressing? Can you then be gracious enough to let them carry on with their business or would you throw a fit over the matter? One Redditor recounted how her husband chose the latter when she said she could not stay on for long at the funeral of his close cousin. Their 6-month-old son was suffering a health ailment and treatment could not be delayed. But her husband insisted they postpone the doctor's appointment so that they could go to the funeral which happened to be on the same day.
The cousin died last week on Thursday and the funeral was the following Wednesday, the woman stated. The deceased and her husband were extremely close. She wrote: They grew up together as he was an only child and was always with his cousin. They were more like brothers and he’s really struggling with his sudden death. He had a heart attack at 42. Emotionally he’s a mess. But the child's condition was not good and something needed to be done quickly. Our son was very ill last Friday and was gasping for air. He’s only 6 months old so I took him to the ER. They told me he had croup and to keep an eye on him and to make an appointment for this week because a baby his age can get serious complications from this. I called his doctor who is exceptional busy this week and only had one appointment for Wednesday at noon, she continued.
The Redditor was in a major dilemma but had to make a decision. I told my husband that I would go to the wake but unfortunately I have to take our son to the doctor because he could get to feeling worse. Rather than understanding her concerns and their child's needs, the man got angry. He’s very upset with me and said I could reschedule the doctor appointment until next week (which I don’t feel comfortable doing) he thinks I’m an AH for not going and saying I just don’t want to go and he needs me for comfort, she added, noting that her husband was "having an extremely hard time with this." In a later update, she clarified it wasn't because her husband didn't care for their child's well-being as many commentators on her post had implied.
She wrote, He loves our son though as he stayed at the ER with us and didn’t leave his side. He just wanted me to change the appointment to a time not during the funeral not that he didn’t care about our little boys well-being. She also stated that the couple was trying to come with a solution. I’m working on getting an appointment on Thursday now as they called and said they could squeeze him in for a 8am visit which I am fine with. I never intended to take baby with me to the funeral or wake as he would probably cry during service and had planned on him staying with my brother for a few hours, she added. While we don't know if she snagged an appointment for Thursday. But the avalanche of comments followed after the post was put up on Tuesday on the AITA (AmITheA**hole) group, most opined that the woman was not at fault.
Baggleboots wrote: NTA (NotTheA**hole) - A six month old with a breathing problem probably shouldn't be around a crowd when there's a pandemic anyway. You aren't abandoning your husband, he is an adult. He is grieving, but he needs to be more understanding. Not to be super harsh, but I'm guessing he wouldn't want to be attending his sons funeral because he skipped his doctors appointment. wonderwife added: While this is empirically true, the husband said HE needed his wife's support throughout his own difficult time, not that the dead cousin required support. It doesn't sound like the husband is typically an AH, but more that he's simply deep in the weeds with his grief and not thinking straight...